Teens and social media
Ever wonder what your teen is doing on his/her phone? Chances are he/she is on social media… But you probably already knew that.
Back in August, Pew Research released the results of a study conducted this spring on teens’ (ages 13-17) engagement with social media and technology. I first learned of the study through this TGC article, which explained 5 notable findings. While I recommend checking the article out, I want to focus your attention on a detail a bit further in the weeds of the research.
While YouTube is the definitive winner when it comes to usage among teens, it’s not the app used most often by its users. That is to say, YouTube is used by more teens than any other social media platform, but it’s not used most regularly by its users when compared to all other platforms.
That title belongs to… drumroll please… Snapchat and TikTok.
According to the data (which you can see here), a whopping 74% of Snapchat users engage with the platform multiple times per day (defined as, “several times per day” and “almost constantly”), while 25% report engaging “almost constantly”. TikTok is nearly identical with 73% of users reporting multiple engagements per day and, again, 25% engaging “almost constantly”. By contrast, YouTube lags behind both platforms in this regard with only (should I say “only”?) 63% engaging multiple times per day and 20% “almost constantly”.
In other words: among teen users of each platform, Snapchat and TikTok are the most “compelling-to-use” of the social media platforms.
What’s the takeaway?
These two platforms command their teen users’ attention, summoning addict-level engagement better than any other. One in four teen users are engaging with the platform “almost constantly”. Imagine your teen doing anything besides breathing “almost constantly”: eating, bleeding, talking, picking his/her nose, etc. You’d seek help for him/her immediately, wouldn’t you?
Engaging teens on social media usage
If we desire to see our teens fix their eyes on Jesus (Heb. 12:2), then these findings raise serious questions about how we disciple teens in his way. Let me make two suggestions.
First, engage teens with compassion. These platforms are designed to reap the outcomes we’re seeing in teens by rewarding engagement. In a real way, your teen is in an attention battle he/she is unlikely to win consistently. Rather than our condemnation, they need our compassion. So, invite them to discuss their usage with the tenderness of Jesus.
Second, pursue temperance. It’s an old word in need of recovery in our day. The virtue of temperance was never meant to refer to teetotaling. Instead, it was a boundary word. Temperance says, “I will pursue the good through this God-created entity up to this point and no further.” As we all know, it’s not a sin to drink. It’s a sin to get drunk. Not to indulge, but to over-indulge. Temperance stands on the line between the two. It knows when and how long to say “yes” before saying “no”.
Social media is here to stay for the foreseeable future – though if Facebook is any indication, the platforms preferred by teens are liable to change. Thus, trying to eliminate its use among the teens in your home is probably a losing battle.
But what if it’s a battle you don’t need to fight? What if instead you made it your aim to foster in your teens a mature and godly engagement with social media (and technology more broadly)? To do that, they need temperance: the learned moral knowledge of when and how long to say “yes” and when to say “no” to the glory of God.
Building temperance
To that end, let me close with a practical recommendation for building temperance not only into your teens’ life but into your own as well – because we all know this isn’t just a teen problem. (You do know that, right?)
Build temperance through the spiritual discipline of fasting. Obviously, in fasting we are saying “no” to something for a set period, which isn’t exactly the same as temperance. But what fasting does is release you from the power of that thing for a time. And this release allows you the space to be reminded that what you’re fasting from is a gift of God, not a god itself. You were meant to steward it, not be its steward.
Thus, fasting trains us to say, “No,” so that when we’re not fasting, we can say, “Yes, but no further than this.” And that’s temperance.
But here’s a tip: start by fasting from something other than social media. Yes, I think it’s a great idea to fast from social media too, but it might be too much to start there for some. So, try something else: food, cable news, email, video games… The point is to rack up some easy wins, to build some positive emotion – momentum, if you will. Then come back to social media.
While out to breakfast with my wife last week, we noticed a table of four adults and one child (he was probably 5-6 years old). All four adults were glued to their phones, while the child sat idly by, disconnected and confused - or so it appeared. What message(s) was that child receiving?
Though social media (and digital technology) is one of the greatest challenges in youth discipleship today, I’m convinced our teens will only rise to the level of maturity that we ourselves possess with respect to it. May God give us the wisdom and temperance we need to lead our teens in the way of Jesus.