In Jesus’ kingdom, which do you think is more important: doing for God or being with God? To put that in other terms, does serving God or pursuing intimacy with God come first in Jesus’ kingdom?
As you think about that question, consider that in the Western world being “productive” and “getting things done” are extremely high priorities. What you do and how well you do it are some of the most important things about you. Consider just a few brand slogans that highlight this value:
Nike, “Just Do It.”
Home Depot, “How doers get more done.”
Staples, “That was easy.”
The implication is clear: if you don’t get stuff done, you’re inferior.
Sadly, it seems we in the Western church have, by and large, absorbed these priorities. Pastor Peter Scazzero, in his book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, writes the following:
For most of my Christian life… [the] messages [I received from the church] were clear:
Doing lots of work for God is a sure sign of a growing spirituality.
It is all up to you. And you’ll never finish while you’re alive on earth.
God can’t move unless you pray.
You are responsible to share Christ around you at all times or people will go to hell.
Things will fall apart if you don’t persevere and hold things together.
Have you heard these messages within the church?
Scazzero goes on:
Are all these things wrong? No. But work for God that is not nourished by a deep interior life with God will eventually be contaminated by other things such as ego, power, needing approval of and from others, and buying into the wrong ideas of success and the mistaken belief that we can’t fail…Our activity for God can only properly flow from a life with God.
What Scazzero is saying – and I share his concern; in fact, I think Jesus does too – is that we tend to put our “doing for” God before our “being with God”. That is, when push comes to shove, we prioritize serving God over pursuing intimacy with God…and that is mistaken.
Here’s what prioritizing “doing for” God over “being with” him often looks like for me…
When my alarm goes off in the morning, especially in this season – I don’t know what it is about the fall and winter…maybe it’s the dark mornings? – there is very little in me that wants to get up, go downstairs and spend 15-30 minutes of quality time with Jesus in prayer and Scripture reading before moving on with my day. Instead, I’ll check my phone or think about what projects I need to work on or what meetings I need to attend. Similarly, when I walk into the church office, all too often I jump into the day’s to-do list without even pausing to sit with Jesus and ask, “What would you have me do today, Lord?”
Of course, it’s not just pastors that fall prey this. The same is likely true of you.
Here’s the thing: in Jesus’ kingdom, “being with” Jesus is more important than “doing for” Jesus. In other words, pursuing intimacy with Jesus is given priority in his kingdom. Doing work for Jesus should flow out of our relationship with Jesus – not the other way around.
Let me introduce you to two of Jesus’ friends – they were sisters actually – Martha and Mary. We meet them in Luke 10.
38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”
You see, Martha is a lot like us. Luke describes her as “distracted with much serving”. When I read that, I wonder: can this be? How could serving be a distraction?
One the one hand, I’m sure Martha was honorably fulfilling the cultural expectations of hospitality in her day. She was admirably making sure her guests were comfortable and well cared for. On the other hand, Martha’s serving got in the way of her being with Jesus.
Martha’s example illustrates that there will always be a reason to not “be” with Jesus. You (and your children) probably experience several reasons every day: work, school, family obligations, cooking, cleaning, sports and extracurriculars, screen time(!), etc.
What are some reasons that you either resist or miss out on “being with” Jesus on a daily basis?
By contrast, Mary “sat at the Lord’s feet and listened”. Luke actually tells us very little about Mary. All we learn is that she is Martha’s sister and that, unlike Martha, she sat and listened to Jesus.
But this raises some questions about what Mary’s “responsibilities” were. If she’s Martha’s sister, does she live at the house too? If so, why wasn’t she helping her sister? Regardless, perhaps your immediate reaction to Mary is that she sounds a bit lazy, or worse, selfish. How inconsiderate of her to leave her sister serving alone!
I suspect many of us resonate with Martha’s frustration with Mary and her request of Jesus to instruct Mary to help her. Yet, I wonder, is that because we prioritize doing over being – serving the Lord over sitting with the Lord? Nevertheless, in that moment, Mary chose to be with Jesus over doing something for Jesus.
Crucially, what does Jesus say to all this?
Jesus turned to Martha and addressed her first. He said, “You are anxious and troubled about many things.” Wow! Jesus cut right to the heart of the matter. He identified what was beneath Martha’s tireless serving and frustration with her sister, anxiety and trouble. Is it possible that anxiety and trouble also lies beneath much of our restless toil?
What sorts of anxieties keep you distracted from Jesus, doing for him instead of being with him?
Many of us worry about our image, or self-presentation. How do I look in the eyes of others? This manifests itself not only in physical forms (e.g. our appearance, the car we drive, our manicured lawn, etc.), but digitally as well. The online identity we create and – crucially – curate is an enormously common source of anxiety for adults and teens alike.
Many of worry about our future… our family’s future, our church’s future, our corporation’s future, our country’s future… These worries are closely tied to our anxieties concerning success and failure. Will I finally earn that promotion this year? Will my children get into their preferred college or land the job they’re applying for?
But Jesus recalibrated Martha’s priorities. He said that “one thing is necessary,” and it wasn’t the things that troubled her. What was the one thing? It was that which Mary had chosen – being with Jesus.
Still looking to Martha, Jesus then said of Mary that she “has chosen the good portion.” Mary chose being with Jesus over everything else that was lobbying for her attention at that moment. That’s not to say we can disregard forever other “good” things we must attend to, but it cuts to the heart of what we hold as most valuable, most essential.
Is pursuing intimacy with Jesus the most important thing in your life or does something(s) else get in the way?
I’ll be the first confess, stuff gets in the way for me all the time. I have much to learn in being with Jesus.
But you want to know what I find reassuring? Jesus says, “[the good portion] will not be taken away from [Mary].” In context, this means Jesus isn’t going to give Martha what she wants, namely, telling Mary to go help her sister. Yet on a broader level, I think this is Jesus’ blessing of the choice to “be with him” over “do for him”. When you determine to make pursuing intimacy with Jesus the most important thing in your life, Jesus will not take that from you; I believe he will honor it. Jesus loves when people make him their greatest passion in life.
In fact, Jesus put it this way in John 15:
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
That is to say, all my “doing for” Jesus will amount to nothing if I am not abiding in (“being with”) Jesus. But if I abide, then, Jesus promises, I will bear fruit.
Take a moment right now, to be still before Jesus. Ask him to show you what might be distracting you from your relationship with him and how you can pursue “being with” him this week.